*Not your average publishing company

party girls

we take the shots
that are handed to us
kiss other girls act out fetishes
for the boys who watch only
when I’m drunk that way
it isn’t real
the butterflies just nausea
throw up in the bathroom and hold the hair
of the girl in the stall next to me
tell her your outfit is so cute wipe vomit
from the corners of our mouths
where did you get your shoes
you’re so gorgeous
no you’re so gorgeous
my boyfriend says that’s hot and later
we watch lesbian porn and he points
to the blonde and says that’s you
I don’t see myself
in her but I don’t see myself
in me either

Josie Kochendorfer is a writer and educator based in Portland, Oregon. Her work has appeared in or is forthcoming from Barrelhouse, The Account, Rough Cut Press, and elsewhere. She holds an MFA in Creative Nonfiction from the Ohio State University and is a Ph.D. candidate in Literature and Criticism at Indiana University.

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