“Duuuude!”
“What?”

“Did you read this hot communication?”
“No, what?”

“It says our friend is going to wake-surf behind a …a black hole …”
“Coooool! … Wait, what?”

“Yeah, like, this massive black hole got whacked out of the galactic core after its home galaxy collided with another one.”
“Unfortunate!”

“Surely. So now it’s, like, speeding to the max through intergalactic space …”
“Woah!”

“Yeah and like, it’s creating this pretty gnarly wake as it ploughs through all the … the … wait, what is that stuff called again? Oh yeah, ‘circumgalactic gas’.”
“So, our buddy’s going to surf the wake left by a rogue black hole?”

“That’s what they say in the message I just received, dude.”
“Oh dude, that is like, truly rad.”

“Truly!”
“I bet they were, like, completely amped man! So … when did they send it?”

“Hey, you know me! Practicalities not theoreticalities!! I’m not so good with all those relativistic calculations. But it was like, waaay long ago.”
“That’s ok my dude, I feel your aversion! Maybe if we align our sensor arrays, we’ll still get to see them floating on a crest …”

“Or wiping out!”
“Ha ha! True … Oh, oh … there they are, or were, or whatever …”

“Where? Wait, ok, I see them … Duuuuuuude!!! Sending a shaka for sure!”
“Ummm … you know who else has seen them?”

“Huh?”
“The local ape-oids.”

“Hey, I thought we agreed we weren’t going to call them that …”
“Ok, ok, my bad. But, like, it’s all over their news feeds already. Check out this snappy headline: ‘Astronomers Spy Giant Runaway Black Hole’s Starry Wake’.” 

“Oh no, that is most ruinous.”
“You said it. If they’ve spotted the wake, then for sure they’ll spot …”

“I know, I know. But do we have to … really?”
“You know we do. Gotta keep our existence on the down-low.”

“This sucks man. They get to surf through space and have all the fun and we get to …”
“Just think of it as another kind of wipe-out. Only it’s happening to the ape- … planetary civilisation over there.”

“<Sigh>. Ok, over the falls we go, or, well, I mean, the ape-oids go …”

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