Every year, I want to celebrate Christmas,
the same way the clouds celebrate the sky,
or the sun celebrates the pinky moon,
focusing on the birth of Jesus Christ,
visiting maternity wards in the city,
or precisely, the dungeon of Woolwich,
where babies arrive and end in the Thames.
I want to celebrate Christmas like the fishes
celebrating rivers and seas with sacrifices
like the ancient Rome at the Saturnalia,
or like the birds that crouch in nests,
nibbling at the fly caught on longer days.
I want to decorate some apple trees,
run along the streets singing Christmas carols
and dissipate my gifts of a thousand years
like Santa Claus, dressed in red and white.

How I end up pushing noisy trolleys,
or carrying long baskets or wheeled carts,
down the long alleys of nebulous shops,
like a naked woman in a busy garden
with walls painted with gold and pink,
or like an orange climber eating its peelings
and leaving the fuzzy yellow full of juices,
cannot be the call of my destiny.
Sometimes, I want to buy a bloody cross,
but I end up purchasing a bag of brown wood
to set my room on fire for the lonely night
when my friends would come drinking;
whenever I want to kneel and pray for love,
I end up the opposite of Elves of Santa Claus
and collapse in the arms of a lost girlfriend.

Rather than the stations of the cross
filled with sacramental bread and wine,
a table filled with candles and crucifixes
prepared for me in the presence of my enemies,
I have gone through the stands of shops
where jewellery carries a gong in the day
to summon those who show a glum face,
and I have rendered my desires dead
for the things to do on Christmas Day.
like going to church on Christmas morning,
flipping through the pages of the Holy Bible,
preaching the gospel and spreading the Word,
and bringing some lost souls to Jesus Christ.
Now, I sit all day with my unholy friends,
wondering which way led to the Calvary.

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Jonathan Chibuike Ukah lives in the United Kingdom. His poems have been featured in Lucky Jefferson Literary Magazine, The Pierian, Propel Magazine, Atticus Review, The Journal of Undiscovered Poets and elsewhere. He won the Alexander Pope Poetry Award in 2023. He was the Editor’s Choice Prize Winner of Unleash Lit in 2024, the Second Poetry Prize Winner at the Streetlights Poetry Prize in 2024 and Winner of the Poet of the Month December-January 2025 at the Literary Shark Poetry Contest.