All you had to do was watch my body.
All you had to do was let it change
before your eyes, transpose itself on
to dust, a fantasy made hardened
into the stuff reality is made of.
You didn’t want the responsibility.
And I get it.
This beauty is disgusting
and it takes time, and it fucking hurts
more than anything else
ever will.
All you had to do was watch my body change.
Stars are made of less than this.
There’s just no time these days for
an eruption of sincerity.
Too much other work to do.
Too many boxes to pack
away the reasons
we couldn’t make it.
All you had to do was watch my body.
You would’ve been able, for once,
to see
me.
Elle Jay Snyder is a trans woman, poet, and part-time phantom from Staten Island. She has represented her borough as part of the 2018 Advanced Slam Team at NPS, facilitated workshops in her community and for LGBTQIA youth, buried herself alive at Queer Van Kult: Revelation exhibition in 2022, and published a limited release chapbook, Where the Knife Landed, from NYSAI Press. Her work has appeared in several anthologies from great weather for MEDIA Press, Lupercalia Press, In Between Hangovers, et. al. Her work is forthcoming in Word’s Faire, and the next anthology from Querencia Press. She is also aggressively seeking a sponsorship from Mountain Dew.
Instagram: @ourladyofpoetics
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