The quadrennial meeting of the Association of Large and Isolated Creatures (ALIC), commonly called cryptids, scheduled for 2020 was cancelled because of COVID. Instead they arranged for an encrypted Zoom-like conference call on their black internet. Since 2000 their association had entertained a resolution about going “Public.” One of the Elders, Yerri, philosophical by nature and age – he was a contemporary of Confucius  – thought that with the Millenium mankind would be ready to accept their branch of homo sapiens. Indeed, he suggested they could provide the impetus for mankind to find World Peace for which they all yearned. 

Yerri suggested that the main stream of humanity could learn from their example. “With our many varieties of Sasquatch, Yeti, Bigfoot, Yeren, Almas, Bun Manchi, Mirka, et. al., we have always lived peacefully together. It is both possible and desirable. They’ll realize that the differences between races, religions, genders etc. is so minor as to not be worth the bother.” 

There were some who whispered that he might be in decline, but out of respect, and since they knew from their own experience there was no such thing as a bad idea, perhaps only ones that require a little more thought, they agreed that they would revisit Yerri’s suggestion at future meetings. “Weighty matters such as this are best discussed face to face.” Admittingly, there were one or two cynics who suggested that being by oneself most of the time tended to make a person appreciate a difficult conundrum, one worthy of rumination. 

There were younger members of ALIC, those born after the start of the Industrial Revolution – 1750 to simplify things – who worried that the decision to embrace the public at large might not be theirs to make as recent advances in technology with spy satellites and drones, etc., provided access to locations that hitherto had provided privacy and safety to members of ALIC all across the globe. 

B’foots was one such member. He kept himself to himself mostly on the east side of the American Rockies usually spending the coldest months of the winter in his cabin hidden in a remote part of Provo Canyon. Over the last two decades he had spent many months meditating on Yerri’s suggestion. He was convinced that the decision to go public would not be theirs to make and that given the current state of the world with wars and conflicts often along with horrendous campaigns of racial cleansing, the members of ALIC would be fair game within seconds of their discovery. He could see governments selling hunting permits, both individual and group, specious images of Yetis, Abominable Snowmen, etc. on stamps alongside trout, lions, and elephants. He suggested to some of his friends that perhaps they should be proactive – strike before we are struck! He even went so far as to create an elastic head band with two lightning bolts side-by-side.

He discussed his reservations with the standing Committee of Large Logicals, CLaLo, that was formed at beginning of the prior Millenium in response to the Crusades when the Elders at that time realized that the fires kindled by religious wars would never be extinguished. CLaLo suggested that he and others document “incursions into their privacy” and there would be a plenary session to discuss their findings at the next meeting in 2024. “You can serve as informal monitors.”

~ * ~

B’foots came in from the hot tub tucked behind his cabin. He added a couple of logs to the fire, glancing at the wall screen. He’d been following John Miller for almost two decades. Data mining works both ways. He had been networking with his close family in California, Colorado, and Alaska. He chuckled, “The American Bigfoot working together.” He and his friends had respected the suggestion of CLaLo, each tracking incursions into their territory.

He retrieved the logbook from the end table and refreshed his memory. Here were the notes on John from the early days. 

1. John Miller, Roaring Brook Golf Club. Email addresses in a distribution list. The note about their common interest in Bigfoot, suggesting they should pool resources and find this missing link. “Destiny knocks at our door. We can leave it to others to whistle after Nessie. I’ve already done preliminary research which you will find in the attached documents. We all achieved great success thanks to our imagination and ingenuity. The resources are readily available to present proof of Big Foot to the world.”

He was still sweating from the hot tub. He wiped his face with his forehand, musing how hairy hands can double as towels.

2. John suggested forming an LLC – Intrepid Explorers – pooling resources. “We’ll  use drones to map and explore areas where there were Big Foot spottings. I’ve already tabulated that data and had my tech staff do some preliminary analysis. One good place is the Provo Canyon area, right here in our own backyard. I’ve attached projected costs and check points, etc.”

B’foots glanced at the screen. It was scrolling through sky scans. He valued his privacy. The clan had joked, “We can knock the drones out of the sky with snowballs if they get too close.” Simply jamming could work, but they’d decided they would just bug the software and load false images, agreeing that using Cuz Herb’s Snow Queen X-rated pictures was a bad idea. He looked back at the book, skimming over the replies Miller got to his email.

3. One joked that he was whistling in the wind. “Couldn’t help anyhow – strapped for cash.” Another suggested that he talk to Musk; better to invest in his settlements in outer space. However, six others agreed to join up. John emailed all. “It’s a go!” And two weeks later the reply from Frank Henry, who was off-grid at that time. “Sorry, no. It’s a myth!” 

Nothing new on the screen. B’foots got up; he needed to eat. Can’t believe how easy it was to bug their meeting in California. Thought they were so smart planning to use drones over the potential areas in the winter. Miller babbling about AI and pattern recognition software locating trails and potential Big Foot habitat. Too dumb to even spell Bigfoot as one word!

The alarm buzzed. He hurried back to check that their software had loaded properly in the drone. He put his feet up on the coffee table, thinking life is good and these little challenges are a pleasant distraction if not fun. Their drone would now send back neutral pictures of the Canadian Rockies until it crashed in the Great Salt Lake 50 miles away. This was the best case response determined by their own AI algorithms.

~ * ~

B’foots and his friends had a good week, laughing at Miller and his Intrepid Explorers trying to figure out how their drone ended up in the Great Salt Lake. They joked about “Miller Light” and needing a case to get even a little buzz. They had little sympathy for John when the drone was traced back to him and he was fined after receiving a stern reprimand that it could have hit the Tabernacle. 

But John was no dummy. He had the software analyzed and was able to unpack enough to determine that the software had been corrupted. Miller became paranoid and avoided his usual channels of communication, using snail-mail to communicate with groups similar to his around the globe.

One reached Prof. Tang in Songbei, a relatively large city in the Shennongjia Forestry District located within the Hubei Province in NW China. She immediately checked the software in all of the electronics involved in their own Yeti Project. All had viruses similar to the ones John had discovered. She had no choice but to immediately alert the government. Within twenty-four hours government scientists took over her project and the military wrapped everything in Top Secret status. 

Information triggers had already been embedded on the servers in Prof. Tang’s office and the local Yeren became aware of Prof. Tang’s note to the authorities seconds after she hit the send key. Realizing that the government reaction to anything different was swift and severe, they vacated their remote mountain caves within hours. Within a day “Military Exercises” in the region destroyed their caves. Unfortunately since the Yeti had lived peacefully in this area for centuries, traces of cryptid DNA was found. Even though it could be placed within the broad band of “human” DNA, the Chinese Central committee issued a secret directive to shoot all Yeti on sight.

The United States had its own resources within the Chinese scientific community and soon had detailed documentation of the explosions in the Shennongjia Forestry District observed from satellites. After a hasty debate, they decided to trust the evaluation of the Chinese scientists, adding a footnote that the creature anomalies in China might even be invaders from outer space. Orders to shoot on sight and burn all evidence for fear of contamination were issued. All this was shared and urged upon our allies.

Putin on the other hand, decided to withdraw his elite troops from the Ukraine and dispatch them to a remote area of Siberia with the intent to capture and use these large creatures in his war efforts. 

Within a week, CLaLo found similar repressive activities on all continents with the exception of Antarctica. There was an emergency meeting. They decided to broadcast a motion to invoke SIP – Strict Isolation Protocol. In simple terms: Hide. Do NOT engage. 

An emergency virtual meeting was called for July 1. Better than 95% of ALIC’s membership signed in. Yerri’s proposal was shelved indefinitely. B’foots’ notes and those of other monitors were transferred to a secure facility. The membership at large officially approved the emergency SIP  to stay in effect through 2120.  CLaLo was told to monitor events going forward.  

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