The music played soft and slow as I turned around and around. My dance partner’s hands were cold but strong. He moved with more grace than the wind itself. I danced and danced until my feet should have hurt, but instead, I felt nothing. All I felt was my partner and nothing around me. The bliss of dancing into oblivion. My white dress floated around me, glittering in a light I couldn’t see. I figure that I must look like a phantom, sweeping around the room. I could feel the soft silk of the black suit my partner as I gripped his arm. 

Gradually the song started to speed up. With each turn, a new memory surface. Turn on, my first birthday. Second turn, my first day of school. My high school sweetheart, college friends, crazy nights, and lazy mornings. My first professional dance recital and how the crowd roared when I had finished. All twirled along with us. The low notes on the grand piano that played somewhere I couldn’t see got louder and louder. The louder and faster the music got, the heavier I felt. 

“It’s almost time for your big finale,” my partner whispered soothingly. 

I could feel that the end of the dance was coming. I finally felt the tiredness fill my bones and my eyelids started to close. Although my partner never faltered, I could feel my steps slowing down. More memories, recent memories, flitted past. My own children running around squealing like heathens. My dear husband laughing at some story he most likely made up to impress the neighbors or whoever was unlikely enough to get caught in a conversation with him. Soon grandchildren were running around where my kids used to be. Jumping around and showing me some poor animal they had caught outside. Reading me a book without actually reading the words, more making some story up themselves. 

I couldn’t help but smile at the memories. My eyes had finally shut but my body hadn’t yet given up on the dance. It felt too natural. Too good to shut off so soon. I opened my eyes when I noticed that my partner had finally slowed down. We still swayed but the twists and turns had stopped. 

“Is it really time?” I whispered sadly. “Do we really have to leave so soon?”

“It’ll always feel too soon,” my partner answered. 

As much as I tried I could see beneath the black hood that hung low over his face. I could imagine his face though. Sad and sullen eyes with a down-turned mouth. I could hear how he was feeling in just his voice. He was just as sad to end our dance as me. 

“How does it feel?” I asked as we continued to sway. “How does it feel to lose dance partner after dance partner?”

“It feels like losing a love, over and over,” he answered. His voice seemed to bounce off the walls that weren’t there.

“When will you find the right partner?” 

My head felt so heavy I couldn’t help but lay my head on his shoulder. It was just as cold as his hands, but I tried not to focus on that. I focused on how strong they were. How they held me up so I could finish my dance. He wasn’t going to let me go just yet. I wonder if he doesn’t want to let go because he doesn’t want to leave another partner. It must be tiresome to lose someone every single day and not get to keep one friend for yourself. 

“I won’t ever find the right one,” he whispered. 

“Why not?”

“Because you are all too good for me. I don’t deserve to be graced with your presence for a lifetime. You must go on to somewhere better.” 

I couldn’t think of anywhere better at this moment. I’ve never felt this kind of bliss. I’ve felt happy, yes, but never this peaceful. I could dance forever to this melancholy music if he would just continue to hold me up. That’s all I needed. Just a little support. He slowly pulled me closer. I continued to hold on tight.

“Will you ever join us in that better place?”

“I cannot.” He let me go and then twirled me into his arms. Despite the cold, it was comforting. 

“How is that fair? Why can’t you go too?” I twirled out once again until we were back in our original position. 

“If I stayed there, who would guide you there?” He pulled me close once more. “My job might have its bad parts but it has it’s good too. Remember how you were before I came?”

I do remember, I realize. I was so tired and in pain. I could barely get out of bed and make my own breakfast. Sometimes I even struggled to remember my own name or where I was. Now I’m wearing the most beautiful dress that I have ever seen. I’m forty years younger, my wrinkles have all disappeared. I feel more carefree than I have in years. 

“I guess you’re right,” I smiled. “Why do people fear you when you give this kind of peace?”

“Because I’m not something people understand. That scares them.”

“I’m sorry to say that I was like that before as well,” I admitted.

“It is time,” he said as soon as the last deep note rang all around us.  He dipped me low and as he lifted me back up I could feel everything become lighter than before. Light flooded all around me, so bright that I couldn’t see my partner any longer. Talking and laughing filled my ears in replacement of the once-filling silence. The cold hands on my body were replaced with warmth that filled me to my very soul. Maybe I would be happier here. Dance to the new music that played upbeat and lifted my spirits.

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Avery Powell is a student at the University of Arkansas-Fort Smith. She is currently majoring in creative writing and minoring in professional writing. Avery can always be found writing stories and working on her publishing career.