“Ugh… How long does it take to get ice cream?!” 13-year-old Gage grumbled as he and his cousins chilled on a bench. Awaiting their well-earned treats after a long morning at Church.

Lanny, his slightly older cousin, just groaned. “Chill man, you shouldn’t even be eating while you’re still dressed like that.” He gestured to Gage’s slick silver dress clothes. “Service ended hours ago. Why won’t you change?” 

Gage just rolled his eyes. “Man, I’m not in the mood. I just don’t have the energy after what happened this morning.”

“What went down?” His other cousin of the same age named Duke asked as he carried three ice cream cups within his arms.

“My idiot dad got on my case about….” He bit his tongue, struggling to reveal the truth. “Not being able to tie up my tie.”

Duke and Lanny just exchanged a glance. “Yeah… and?”

“That’s it.” 

“Wha- seriously?” Lanny sighed. “Come on man, that had to have been early this morning. Get over it already.”

Gage seethed. “No way!” He got up and snatched his cherry ice cream. “It’s been like this for years. I’ve tried to tie it myself for years but nothing just ever clicks…”

“Just try watching a video online and going along.” Duke suggested which just earned an upset glare from the raging child. 

“Oh gee, I wonder why I didn’t ever think of that…” He scoffed down his sweets as his cousins exchanged another confused glance while struggling to hold back laughter. 

As soon as he finished his ice cream, Lanny came up and swiped the silver tie clean off his neck. “Here, watch this. A simple Windsor Knot.” Gage watched as Lanny effortlessly tied the knot, internally stewing. “Lastly… tighten it. There, now do exactly as I did.”

Gage took the tie and did his best. What resulted looked more akin to a balloon animal. “Like this?”

“Not exactly…” Duke said with puffed cheeks before both boys burst into giggles.

“Quit laughing!” He sighed, “I’ll take care of this, no matter how long it takes.”

Lanny sighed. “Have you ever considered just not wearing a tie?”

But it was too late. Gage’s eyes were lit with the fires of determination. “Not possible!”

***

The next day, Lanny was heading up the stairs of Gage’s house after getting a quick call.

“Lanny come in here.” Gage hollered from his room.

“Hey man, where have you been? I haven’t seen you in forever! Wait, have you been in your room all day?”

Gage welcomed his cousin into his quarters. “That’s right. You know I’ve been doing some thinking Lanny. About this whole tie debacle.”

“Tie deba….” Lanny’s eyes went wide. “Wait, you’re still on that?! You have a girlfriend, go talk to her about something and get on with your life!”

“I already tried asking her but she said she never wore a tie so I hung up immediately.” His cousin pinched his nose in frustration before a tablet was shoved in his face. “Don’t worry, I’ll be sharing this with her later once I’m done with it.”

“What’s that?”

“It’s a file for my subliminal training. I told you I’ll figure this tie thing out.”

“Using some advice my friend Ari gave me, I put together a file composed of over 4000 tie knot videos, narrations and articles using text-to-speech. I’ll listen to it all night and literally learn in my sleep!”

“Ari? Ari Neuron the mad scientist guy? His plans always go up in smoke!”

“One thing for sure about him is that he always gets results.” He brushed off the warning and grabbed the handle of his closet. “Besides, it’s already underway. Not only did I spend all day making this file, but…” He yanked open the door and out poured hundreds of loose ties in every color and pattern imaginable.

Lanny’s jaw dropped to the ground as the room was flooded with cloth. “When you see me tomorrow, I’ll be able to tie all of these with ease.”

Lanny just stared at him dumbfounded. “Okay… so before I go gather everyone to stage an intervention, I have to ask just one question. Did you actually watch and read through all that stuff on ties you collected for your experiment?”

Gage nodded, “I have to make sure it’s accurate.”

“Then… why don’t you just try it now?” He swiped a tie from the pile. “Here! Just try it once and do it so I can never hear the word ‘tie’ again in my life!”

Gage slapped his hand away. “That won’t work. I’ll only be able to shut my dad up with full unbridled mastery of knots.”

Lanny just sighed and gave up. “How much did all this cost anyway?”

“That’s not important!” Gage spotted the clock and slipped on his headphones. “Oh gees, look at the time!”

“Whelp goodnight. When you see me tomorrow, all these ties will be in every knot you can imagine.”

“You’re going to bed already? It’s only 8.”

“Well I decided to go to bed early. Best to get as much learning in as possible.”

Lanny shook his head and left. “Good luck then.”

Gage with beaming excitement switched on his playlist and got to bed.

***

Not long afterwards, Gage awoke to an orange and purple wispy wonderland. No doubt a dreamscape. “What is this?” He walked around the unfamiliar territory, eventually tripping over something soft. He swiveled around on the floor to find it was nothing more than a pile of ties like from his room.

“Hm… wait.” An idea popped into his head and he started twisting and turning one of them. Before he knew it, his eyes were sparkling at the sight of the finished project.

“A Windsor knot… I did it!” Gage donned the tie victoriously and paraded around the dream space, overlooking others. There, he did it a few more times before deciding it was time for more knots.

Hours passed as Gage went through the pile of ties, twisting them into every kind of knot across the board. 

From the Half Windsor, Prince Albert, Four-In-Hand to the Trinity, Elderege and even the simple Bowtie. He had wrapped together every knot in existence.

Gage smiled in victory as he stood among the piles of every type of knot known to man. In his subconscious, houses, buildings and blocks for miles had formed in the dreamscape and every inch of them were covered in ties like knitting.

He fell back, head resting on his arms as he laid in his cornucopia of masterpieces. “This is incredible… I can’t wait to wake up and show my dad my new skills.”

As he laid back, a faint voice pierced from above. “We already…” 

He sat up quickly. “What?”

“Already know…”

Gage hopped to his feet, walking closer towards the voice in the sky. It then screamed. “I said we already know, now wake up!”

A hard slap sent him flying back onto the nest of ties and in an instant, he awoke. Before him was the mountain of ties except they were already all knotted in real life. Groggily, he rubbed his eyes to find Lanny on grass outdoors in some yard next to him, ready to slap again. His feet were trapped together with cloth, similar to cross-tied laces.  “Lanny, what are you and my ties doing here?” He looked up at the bright blue sky, “B-Better yet, what are we doing outside?”

“You tell us!” Another voice cried out from behind the ties.

He climbed over them to find his younger cousin from earlier and an older man with an ever so familiar face of judgment. Both strapped together against a thick tree with an even thicker tie in the snazzy Balthus knot. “Duke? Dad?” Gage raised his eyebrow in confusion as Duke motioned towards the side. That was when the ambitious boy finally saw it. Houses, cars, yards and everything for at least two miles, were covered in perfectly folded ties just like the dream.

Gage’s eyes practically popped out at the sight. “The entire block is… wait don’t tell me…”

Lanny climbed up the pile and grabbed him by the collar. “You were sleepwalking for 14 hours straight! You wrapped all the ties around several neighborhoods. Heck when you ran out of ties, you stole cloth from every store around to make more and then kept it up.”

“What was in that playlist?!” Duke added while still fighting to get free.

Gage couldn’t help but smile a little. “Dad, is this true?”

“Yeah and I have the public disturbance fines to prove it which will be coming out of your allowance.” He grumbled.

With all of the mounting evidence, Gage knew there was only one thing left to do. “One more test to make sure…” He picked up a nearby tie that remained untouched before carefully and delicately putting it together. Once he was done, the sparkle in his eyes was back as he raised the tie for all to see.

“I-I did it! I can tie the Windsor knot myself!”

“Congrats on your success… now think you can maybe get us down from here?” Duke muttered. 

“Yeah, and help untie the ties across town please? Thank you.” His dad groaned.

“Sure thing. But first, let me sleep to this one article on untying them. Got to be thorough you know.” He popped his headphones on and went back to sleep, much to the horror of everyone as in an instant, he was back on his feet and speeding down the road with his more closed than the tightest tie.

Lanny turned back to Duke who was still tied to the tree. “He does realize he forgot to untie us right?”

---

K.R. Moore is an author who likes to bring joy and look at the positives of life. Channeling them within his writing into the craziest, most bizarre ways possible with fun at every turn. When you pick up a book from Moore, you can expect to go on an unforgettable journey. In addition to self-published works, he has pieces published in places such as Volume 8 of Corner Bar Magazine and Issue 10 of OffBeatReads’ Adventures. Reach him on Instagram and TikTok as @Penname.exe.