Father looked at Ling at dinner and said, “My friend made a good living building a house with his daughter’s 400,000-yuan bride price. But you, already twenty-seven, is still single.” 

Mother added, “We can charge less and less bride price if you don’t hurry. No one wants to marry an old maid.” 

Ling watched her parents and brother Dong laughing. 

A black gas emanated from their laughter and converged into the shape of a beast grinning at Ling. Ling looked at it in shock. The beast said, only people with resentment can see me.

Ling put down the chopsticks and went back to her room. As soon as she closed the door, tears rolled down her cheeks. The beast followed her into the room and said, you are the waste of the family. 

“I am not. I have always been a good daughter, much better than my spoiled and insolent brother.” She dried her eyes and said to the beast. 

Your parents never wanted you. They wanted a son or wouldn’t have asked your grandparents to take you away shortly after you were born to escape the one-child policy in China. You returned to them only after you were seven years old. 

“You talk nonsense. I graduated from a top university, but my brother didn’t pass Gaokao and is repeating his senior year.”

You didn’t pay them back. You scrimp and save because you want to buy your own apartment instead of giving money to your parents. 

“My parents bought an apartment for my brother when he was in 10^th grade. I have worked for several years but must live with my parents.”

He is a son, but you are a daughter, the beast said.

Ling opened her mouth but then stopped. She remembered how often her mother told her, “Many daughters give all their salaries to their parents. How about you?” She felt a twinge in her heart. 

You don’t have the ability or courage to leave home. The beast laughed at her. 

She remembered that she had mentioned to her mother that she wanted to buy a flat, and Mother said, “After you get married, you can live in your husband’s house.” She did not discuss it with her mother again, but she saved money and still wanted to have a home of her own.

“Yes, I do. I have 200,000 yuan saved up, enough for a down payment on an apartment.”

#

A few months later, when Ling came home from work, she found Mother sitting on the sofa with her property certificate on the table. 

Before she could open her mouth, Mother said, “You have no respect for me! You bought the apartment without my consent. Do you still think of me as your mother?” 

Then, like most Chinese parents accusing their children, Mother recounted how much hardship she endured to raise Ling and how heartless and ungrateful Ling was. 

“Don’t you have your own room at home?” 

“You and Dad are the master of the house, but I am only a guest.” Ling remembered how each time her parents entered her room without knocking. If the light in her room was on after 11 o’clock at night, Mother would come to check on her. 

“Have you thought about your father and me after all our hard work raising you? Have you thought about your brother?” 

“You bought an apartment for Dong. Why can’t I buy an apartment of my own?” 

“I told you there were only two circumstances under which you could buy an apartment: either you never marry or get divorced and raise the kid alone.”

Your parents just want you to repay them by giving them all your money, the monster whispered in Ling’s ear.

“You’re selfish, and you bring a bad influence on your brother. You’re a bitch,” Mother scolded. 

Your parents have steady, well-paid jobs. They just dislike you because you’re a useless daughter, the beast snickered. 

Ling felt her body splitting open. The beast turned into smoke and crept into the cracks. She felt the fire she had suppressed engulfing her like a volcano. 

Ling/the beast roared from the bottom of her heart and shouted, “I am not a bitch. I am the daughter of a bitch.” 

Mother smacked her. Ling/the beast, growing fangs and spikes, roared at Mother. Father rushed out of the room and forced Ling away. 

She burst into tears like a flash flood. She finally realized the beast was the rage and grievance she had accumulated for years. Black smoke emitted from her eyes, mouth, ears, and nose, surrounding her like the beast was holding her.

You can leave here. You can be independent, the beast murmured gently.

Early the next morning, Ling packed up and left home. She texted Mother, apologizing. She had a simple 42-square-meter apartment where she would redesign her life trajectory. She wanted to dispel all the shadows her parents had left over her. Although she resented her parents for maltreating her over the years, she missed the warmth of her family. 

She would cope with the beast and tame it. Until then, she would reconcile with her family.

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